Skip to content
  • Home
  • About us
  • All Greeting Cards
    • Anniversary
    • Apology
    • Birthday's
      • Birthday
      • Belated Birthday
      • Husband's Birthday
      • Grandma's Birthday
      • Wife Birthday
    • Blank Card
    • Christmas
    • Congrats on being Single Again
    • Encouragement
    • Father's Day
    • Female Friendship
    • Get Well
    • Graduation
    • Mother's Day
    • New Baby
    • New Job
    • Party Invitation
    • Promotion
    • Retirement
    • Thank You
    • Valentine's Day
    • Wedding Invite & Thank You
  • Gift Bags
  • Contact
Log in
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram
Toestown Direct
  • Home
  • About us
  • All Greeting Cards
    • Anniversary
    • Apology
    • Birthday's
      • Birthday
      • Belated Birthday
      • Husband's Birthday
      • Grandma's Birthday
      • Wife Birthday
    • Blank Card
    • Christmas
    • Congrats on being Single Again
    • Encouragement
    • Father's Day
    • Female Friendship
    • Get Well
    • Graduation
    • Mother's Day
    • New Baby
    • New Job
    • Party Invitation
    • Promotion
    • Retirement
    • Thank You
    • Valentine's Day
    • Wedding Invite & Thank You
  • Gift Bags
  • Contact
Log in Cart

Item added to your cart

View cart

Filter:

Availability
0 selected Reset
Availability
Price
The highest price is $19.99 Reset
$
$
Remove all

92 products

Filter and sort Filter

Filter and sort

Filter

92 products

Availability
Clear
Price

The highest price is $19.99

$
$
Clear
Remove all
Remove all

92 products

  • Inside a doctors examining room a diploma hangs on the wall indicating the doctor has a degree in urology. On the adjacent wall hangs a nighttime picture of a fire pit in a campground. On the far side of the examining room is a storage closet with the door open revelaing a large stack of wafers and chocolate. The doctor is a three pronged marshmallow roasting stick with his head being the center prong and the two outer prongs acting as his hands. He has a rubber glove on his left hand and is about to do a

    Gift Bag - Marshmallow Prostate Exam

    Gift Bag - Marshmallow Prostate Exam

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • Inside a hotel loby at the entrance to a bar there is a crime sceen that has been taped off by homicide investigators. A female bar stool wearing an excesive amount of lipstick with long eyelashes is stnding "hand cuffed" off to the side. She has a very sheepish look on her face as the police investigators, one of which is a large floor lamp that has its light shining down on the victim. The victim is a male bar stool and it looks as if he has melted. The former bar stool is laying on the floor with his

    Gift Bag - Stool Softener

    Gift Bag - Stool Softener

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • A beautiful day at the beach with nice blue skies there are three turtles laying down on beach towels, two female turtles on the outside and a male turtle in the middle. Sail boats and seagulls adorn the background. The lady turtle on the right is laying on her back and enjoying a coctail donning some fashionable sunglasses under a large beach umbrella. Upon further investigation the male turtle shell lying on its back is empty and the naked turtle is down the beach holding a Pina Colada, wearing a lei

    Gift Bag - Out of His Shell

    Gift Bag - Out of His Shell

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a seedy watering hole in the wrong side of town a bartender with an lagre handlebar moustache washes a beer mug while the news blares on a TV behind the bar. The news announcer says "Now to the Allegory Murders. Police are still looking for the smoking gun that will lead them to the last piece of the puzzle". Sitting at the right hand side of the bar is a revolver wearing dark glasses a cigarette hanging from his lips. In the other hand is a half empty glass of beer, mugs beside him on the bar. Smoke

    Gift Bag - Comfortably Numb

    Gift Bag - Comfortably Numb

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a nice theater style auditorium a charity auction is underway. There are numerous people in the audience with the focus being on a lady and her female friend. On the elevated stage is an auctioneer holding a gavel and wearing a tall black top hat. On the stage being auctioned off is a very handsome looking night stand with beautiful white teeth shown off behind a a big bold smile. The nigh stand is also wearing black polished dress shoes and a perfectly fitted bow tie. An old style alarm

    Gift Bag - One Nightstand

    Gift Bag - One Nightstand

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • After floating around for fourty days on Noah's ark, Noah, Noah's wife and their two sons are standing outside on the deck of the ark under clear skies. On the wall behind Noah's sons are framed pictures of very strange looking animals. These animals are unlike anything we have ever seen. The name of the animals are written under the image of each animal. The name of the first animal is a Gnorf, it looks like a mouse but with six arms and large tusks. There is a large red X painted over the picture.

    Gift Bag - No More Gnorfs

    Gift Bag - No More Gnorfs

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • Two couples enjoy a cocktail at the stern on the upper deck of a large cruise ship under a banner that says "Welcome Aboard Meet and Greet". One of the gentleman in conversation with the other couple says "Yea, I'm pretty nocturnal, always pushing the envelope". The lady with other couple clearly impressed says "Oh my, how exciting! Are you some kind of daredevil?" The wife of the gentleman that made the original comment says with a bit of a frown "Hardly, he works the night shift at the post office!"

    Gift Bag - Pushing The Envelope

    Gift Bag - Pushing The Envelope

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • At a large wedding reception in a banquet hall hangs a banner that says "Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Screwcork". Attendinding the wedding are a mixture of wine bottle screw caps and wine corks. There is a massive brawl going on between the screwcaps and the corks. Well dressed corks both male and female are pouring wine over the heads of the screw caps while the screw caps swear at, and physically attack the corks. It is total bedlam; however in the forground the beautifuly dressed bride and groom are alone

    Gift Bag - The Screwcorks Wedding

    Gift Bag - The Screwcorks Wedding

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a perfectly groomed park abouve clear skies and large trees the wedding of Walter and Mary is being held. Walter and Marry are fire hydrants, Walter is wearing a bow tie and Mary holding her bouquet has a beautiful veil and wedding dress. Many fellow fire hydrants are in attendance watching the ceremony as Mary has a look of horror on her face as a bus loaded with dogs stops on the street adjacent to the park. On the side of the bus there is a large sign that says Puppy Pub Crawl.

    Gift Bag - Fire Hydrant's Worst Nightmare

    Gift Bag - Fire Hydrant's Worst Nightmare

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a Scotch whisky distillery there are pipes connected to large vats of Scotch whisky. One large vat there is a batch identifier tag that says Batch 316 Peter Killick. The vat has an open top and is filled to the rim with whisky, sitting in the vat like he is taking a bath is a very large bearded Scottish gentleman. You can see the top part of his kilt floating ontop of the whisky, Peter's arms are outstretched on the top of the rim of the vat and you can see he has a tatoo in the shape of a heart with the

    Gift Bag - Heavy Pete

    Gift Bag - Heavy Pete

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • A hilarious sceen in a bar called Cranky Cam's, a bunch of car parts are drinking and partying it up. Behing the bar on the shelves sit bottles of oil, break fluid, windshield wiper fluid. The owner of the bar, a large cam shaft with a bushy moustache tends the beer taps which flow gaoline and motor oil by the pint. Off to the side of the bar in the background a car door and a steering wheel enjoy a conversation and a beverage. Sitting up at the bar is a quarter panel front fender which has is all bent

    Gift Bag - Fender Bender

    Gift Bag - Fender Bender

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a crowded boxing venue a ring girl standing in the center of the boxing ring is holding up a sign indicating a boxing batch is heading into the 15th round. Between rounds, sitting on a stool in the left hand corner of the ring is a centipeed wearing an endless amount of boxing gloves on both sides of his body, from head to toe. In the right hand corner there is a worm sitting on a stool with a lone boxing glove stuck on his head. The worm is clearly battered, bruised and exhausted. Anniversary.

    Gift Bag - Jab Jab Uppercut

    Gift Bag - Jab Jab Uppercut

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • A polar bear is drinking a martini sitting at the bar talking to a lady who is human and who is also enjoying a cocktail. The polar bear is very hip looking wearing dark sunglasses and gold chains. The lady who looks to be fascinated with the polar bear and says "Oh you have two residences, one in the north and one in the south". The polar bear responds and says, "Yea, I'm bi-polar".

    Gift Bag - Bi-Polar

    Gift Bag - Bi-Polar

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In a busy gym there are people excercising, some working out on cross trainers, others doing pilates and arobics. In the center of all this there is a plump lady wearing workout clothes including sweat pants, sneakers and a large head band. She is laying face down on a workout mat with her head turned sideways. Her arms are listlessly lying along each side of her body. She has a disgused look on her face and says, "Damn push-up bra is useless".

    Gift Bag - Push-Up Bra

    Gift Bag - Push-Up Bra

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • In the swimsuit section of a well appointed department store there are two well dressed cows standing beside a rack of bathing suits. The cows udders are clearly visible as their clothes only cover the upper portion of their bodies. One of the cows has removed an item from the dislay and is holding up a polka dotted thong bikini bottom. The bikini bottom has four cavities that perfectly accomodates the cows four udders. The second cow is looking intently at her friend over the top of her glasses with

    Gift Bag - Bovine Bikini

    Gift Bag - Bovine Bikini

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • Santa and the reindeer sit atop a hazardous wast burning facilities tall cone shapped chimney. There are several of these chimneys in the image and all of them have a large hazardous waste symbol painted on the side of the chiney. In addition to the symbols on the chimneys there is a sign on the ground says "Toxic Wste Incineration Facilty". Santa looking as jolly as ever says "Yes I know Blitzen, Mrs. Claus was pretty angry with Santa last night, but she was still kind enough to put

    Gift Bag - Radioactive Santa

    Gift Bag - Radioactive Santa

    Regular price From $3.99
    Regular price Sale price From $3.99
    Unit price /  per 
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6

Quick links

  • About us,
  • Collections
  • Contact
  • Refund Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Shipping Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Do not sell or share my personal information

Info

  • About us,
  • Collections
  • Contact
  • Refund Policy
  • Privacy Policy
  • Shipping Policy
  • Terms of Service
  • Do not sell or share my personal information

A message from Toe:

Everyone has specific family members, friends, or associates that do and say the strangest of things. It is my belief that you could substitute any one of the people in your circle of influence with characters from Toe’s Town. That’s what makes Toe’s Town cards fun. Enjoy!

  • Instagram
  • Pinterest

Country/region

  • CAD $ | Canada
  • USD $ | United States
Payment methods
  • PayPal
© 2025, Toestown Direct
  • Choosing a selection results in a full page refresh.
  • Opens in a new window.